This has been a crazy week. While enjoying the last few days of being in the 18-24 age group I think I've almost forgotten my usual birthday obsession. Too busy. I hope this weekend is relaxing and prepares me for my last week of work before VACATION. It's getting tough.

Woo hoo.

Another Confession...

So...I have another confession to make. And this time it's real.

Conversation:

L: hey
J: what's up?
L: just read'n ur blog - were you talking about JMoss' blog about the Marina dude?
yo
whats da word?
J: what...
you don't know anything about JMoss's blog
I can't tell you
pretend you never read that please
L: what u talk'n about - I'm read'n it right now
http://jhoney8.blogspot.com/
J: don't dude
L: I've always known about the blog
J: I am warning you, don't read it
L: were you talk'n about JMoss - or no?
J: I am leaving this conversation
she made a confession
but I am not taking the blame for this
L: Joi - this better not be me!?!?!?!?!
yo
is that the deal?!?!?!?
is it J or M?!?!?!?
J: M is married
or almost married
and J...
is he from the Marina?
I thought he was from the Mission
well it's not L
L: does that leave anyone else?
J: L, F but he is an unlikely choice dude if anyone asks I did not give any input she will never speak to me ever again
L: DUDE - SHE KEEPS PICTURES OF ME!!!
J: I think it's kinda sweet she can too - cos she is the events organizer you should have heard how upset she was when you didn't come to the networking party
L: ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME!!
J: please don't tell anyone she will be embarrassed
L: does anyone else know?
J: well only me and whoever reads her blog I don't think many people do why? I told her really nicely that I didn't think you were looking for a girlfriend I think she got the message don't worry
L: cool – thx
dude, I can't even look at her the same
Dude - you guys better be just f*'n around - I could see you guys doing that

Last week I was chatting with coworkers and it was brought to my attention that some people at work were reading my blog on the sly. It's not like I have deep dark secrets on here or anything, but dude. That's a little shady.

So all girls in SF were sitting around, shooting the shit when we came up with a brilliant idea. What if we caught this nosy coworker by making him think I liked him. Perhaps we got carried away, but we had a lot of fun doing it. The "confession" I made last week was the product of that conversation. I'm sorry to say that there is no crush. No tingling, no dreams of babies and certainly no hidden pictures that I look at longingly.

I'm sorry if Mr. L got offended in the process, but hopefully he will be able to have some laughs about it (I know we have).

Moving home

So. I am pretty much all moved home*. As I mentioned, the room seems bigger with my stuff in it. Still, it's an adjustment. Having all my stuff settled in around me is great. I even got my TV set up all high above my closet so it's like I'm at a theater or something.

Bonus: It's nice and quiet and my room is at the other end of the house from the rest of my family.

The weirdest part about it all is the bathroom situation.

The bathrooms in the house are funky. Well the whole house is really, but especially the bathrooms. They are at the opposite end of the house from me and both are right next to the bedrooms. Also, the doors were originally these slatted, thin things that all noise traveled through. One of the doors is even a sliding one with no real lock. That's fine when you are a parent or under 10, but sometimes I need privacy.

I have to leave for work fairly early. This means I'm in the shower shortly after 6. The babies and the 'rents don't need to be up at that hour. With such thin doors and with the close proximity of the bathrooms to the bedrooms, it's tough not to disturb someone. Plus there's issues with water pressure and the fact that they have a well with all sorts of different mineral deposit problems.

I think I'll get used to it in a few days, but for now I feel like I'm on vacation or something. Except I still have to work. Bleck.

I probably shouldn't complain if my issue of the moment is the fact that I'm having trouble adjusting to the privacy and water pressure of the bathrooms at the house I get to stay at while saving for school. :-) OK, shut up Jennifer. I'm done now.

*I am qualifying home because it was never really my home before, but my family lives there so I guess it is my home base now.

So, it's foggy in SC. And stifling in LG. BUT, our AC is up so high we shiver for the first half of the day. Freaking temperature changes are driving me nuts. Of course I'm grateful for the AC in the office, but man.

Walking out of the office last night, I hit a wall of heat. It was crazy. By the time I walked to my car, which was pretty close to the building, sweat was already dripping down my neck. It was that way until I hit summit and then the air cooled fairly rapidly. It's times likes these I am so glad to live at the coast. I slept like a perfectly content baby.

Yesterday I almost dozed off in the afternoon lets hope I can make it all day without getting so sleepy.

Sweatytastic

It's hot. I mean, it's frequently hot in CA in the summer, but it's even hot in Santa Cruz. And this weekend was the big move.

Janet was ever so kind to sacrifice her body and truck to help me out. Without all of her help the move would not have happened, so I need to throw a HUGE thanks out there. We must have walked back and forth 1000 times. In doing so I realized I have another confession to make.

"My name is Jennifer and I have a clothes addiction. And Shoes. And purses. And, apparently, pillows."

So after this realization I have thrown away (as in put in a pile for Goodwill) a huge portion of my wardrobe. I know that is something I needed to do, but man. It's painful.

I have a lot more to do as far as organizing and putting away, but I think that I accomplished a lot for how hot it was and how tired I became. The room feels much bigger with my stuff in it too.

It was nice being able to hang in my own bed with the babies yesterday. They are growing up so fast, it's nice to be close to them for awhile.

Also, I must throw out a big thanks to MJ, Dieter and Justin, who help with the heavy stuff. It seems that men seem to have a "pile a lot of stuff in the car" gene that Janet and I lack (or as MJ calls it, "playing Tetris").

I am looking forward to getting a good nights sleep and minimizing the sweat factor for the next couple of days. It may be good training for Costa Rica, but my ass is wiped.

AND next weekend is my birthday. How the hell did that happen? 25 here I come.

Quotes of the day:

A little Office Space Love

Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

---------

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

---------

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

A Confession...

So, dear Blog readers, I fear that I have been keeping something from you. Over the past few months I have started to develop a crush on one of my coworkers. He's one of the guys from the SF office. Lately, it has been getting out of control.

I want to make excuses to come up to this office so that I can be near him. That creates a problem because it's quite a drive for me and it is pretty late when I get home.

I get all nervous around him too. I lose the ability to speak in complete sentences or even walk straight. When I hear his voice during staff meeting calls, it gets me all tingly inside. The past couple of days the thought of him being in such close proximity gave me comfort when everything else was going so wrong. I even kept pictures of him from company events so that I can admire him while I'm alone.

I don't know what to do. Should I tell him and take a risk? Should I keep all this inside? I'm in the office today and just being here makes me quiver with anticipation. Help!

The Worst Day Ever, Part 3

Monday:
So, Monday. Back to work, hah!

After the craziness that was my Sunday, I was majorly dreading going back to work. The closer I got to the office, the more panic I felt creeping in. Walking across the parking lot I had thoughts of running away. But then, Mexico is really hot this time of year and I don't have very much money. Plus I just put all those charges on my personal card and I needed to get paid back for that shit.

There were already several people there and it wasn't even 8:00am yet. I spent the morning rushing around trying to get the office ready for the 30 people that had to cram into limited space. My prepping on Friday had paid off some and there were sympathetic looks everywhere. It was nice getting to sit there and eventually take it all in. I was actually doing pretty well until Marianne started thanking people. When she got to me of course she would have to bring up the miserable failure that was the previous day.

Just as she started to talk about me, the phone rang and I even missed most of it. Basically it was a thanks for not giving up and bailing the day before. Yeah, ok. And it was a great tribute to the team how they pulled together in the face of so many problems. Ouch. Oh well. I didn't have the energy to be upset anymore.

I spent the rest of the day running around all over town prepping for the BBQ that we were having at Vasona that evening. I didn't even mind the heat and mild sunstroke I got. It was nice to be in my car and away from the crowd of people, even running around all over.

By the end of the day I was ready to be still and relax. The BBQ turned out to be a lot of fun. We had burgers of all sorts and painted canvases with our interpretations of gears. Mine is rather Warholesque with the 4 colors alternating. It was actually quite soothing, almost like an instant therapy.

I got home rather late again, but this time I had a much better attitude about the day and the fact that I was finally able to eat for the first time in 2 days helped the shaking.

Tuesday:
Summit day 2 was smooth sailing. Things seemed to have generally turned around. People who had come in from out of town all went out after the park. They were suffering on Tuesday and it was fairly amusing to watch. Everyone chowed down on bagels and tried to concentrate on the guest speakers. By the end of the day all any of us wanted to do was sleep. For a year. But alas it was only Tuesday.

Today we are all dragging. Productivity has dipped, I'm sure. There's plenty to do, but naps are on everyone's' minds.

----------------


The result of all this? Well I guess there's something t o be said for being extra anal. I check things and re-confirmed with people, but sometimes that's not enough. Color-coded tabs and organized mailbox folders don't negate simple human error. And while Marianne may have harped on the problems of the party, she's also right. When the shit hit the fan, everyone had my back. It was pretty amazing. I don't know what I wouldn't have done with out people who ran to the store, got on the phone, brought tables or helped me stay upright. As much as the job can drag and as disappointed I was that there were problems with the day I had tried so hard to make a success, I know that this is a pretty great group of people.

A special thanks to my Dad for coming to my rescue with no notice and to Jo, who not only made me focus and not totally fall apart, but saved my butt from getting a ticket in the process. You are a kick-ass chick. Happy birthday. Here's to Vegas and doing it right there. I owe you a drink, or 7.

The Worst Day Ever, Part 2

Sunday (the beginning of the end):

I decided not to set an alarm, against Jo’s better judgment, so I didn’t notice that I had left my cell in my car. And that, my friends, is where it all started to fall apart. I originally had planned to be over the hill at 11:00 to begin prepping for the networking party. I had to pick up the margarita machine in Campbell and then head to Marianne’s house to help with the setup and run any last minute errands.

When we got in my car to leave, I noticed that I had 3 missed calls. From Marianne. Not good. I called right back, but she was already unhappy that the margarita machine was not at her place. It needed several hours to get cold (something I didn’t know) and by the time I got it there probably wouldn’t be enough time for it to freeze the contents before guests started to arrive. And so my stress level began to rise for the first time that day. It was far from the last.

My car was full of the drinks I had bought from Costco and I realized that time constraints were going to be an issue so I called my dad and begged him to meet me at the rental place with his pickup to help transport the machine. He, thankfully, was home and agreed to help out. He met me at the rental warehouse where we received a brief tutorial about how the machine worked and were off.

Due to the late night before, the somewhat hurried pace over 17 and the rapidly rising temp, not everyone is our party was feeling 100%, but we pushed through.

Arriving at Marianne’s we unloaded the machine and drinks as fast as possible. The mood was chilly in the house and the caterer still hadn’t shown. He was someone who had done these parties several times before and he usually showed up way ahead of time. It was odd. I called to make sure everything was OK.

The conversation went something like this:

Him: Hello, this is S.
Me: Hi, S, this is Jennifer with, SCI.
Him: Who?
Me: Jennifer. With SCI. You are catering our party. Today. I just wanted to make sure everything is OK since the party starts in an hour and a half…
Him: Who? Oh, SCI. Wait, what?
Me: Yes, our party today. The one you have a deposit for. I talked to you guys this week and confirmed.
Him: I don’t think I have you on the schedule. [As my pulse rises and I start to feel ill] Let me call you right back.
Me: umm, OK [Begin to panic]

CRAAAAAPPPPPP.

I told Marianne, who was standing there staring at me, that he said he would call right back. We made a plan to go get ice in the mean time since the caterer was supposed to bring it and we needed to get the drinks chilling.

After a few minutes she grabbed my phone and called him back. He didn’t have us scheduled for that day. He had nothing prepared. Yes I am in my own personal hell. We had guests arriving in a little over an hour! These are not employees or casual acquaintances. These people are CEOs, press, potential new business leads! He said he would try to figure something else out and call back, in the mean time we headed to the store.

We got to Safeway and I was already in a crap mood, of course. We walked in and they were out of sweet and sour mix, of course, so I wet over to a liquor store 2 doors down to see if they had some. I left my dad and Jo to load up ice. Except there WAS NO ICE, of course. They were out. While I was gone, however, Jo called the caterer back to see what was happening. They told her that they weren’t going to do anything. We were on our own.

CRAAAAAPPPPP.

While I stood in line to pay for the sweet and sour and tried not to hyperventilate, Elke called. She had been briefed on the situation and called Whole Food to see what their catering department could do on such short notice. Their catering manager would be there for 15 minutes. If I could get there in that time he would help me. Excellent.

I asked my dad if he would mind getting the ice somewhere else and bring it back to Marianne’s so that I could go meet the caterer at WF. Because he is awesome and loves me he agreed. I’d like to point out how thankful I am that he was there while all this was happening. I voice of reason was something that I needed at that time and he and Jo were my rocks.

We took off down Quito road toward the Whole Foods, doing our darndest not to panic. We made it almost back to Los Gatos-Saratoga when I saw FLASHING LIGHTS in my review mirror. Oh that’s right folks, he was pulling me over.

I broke out in full-blown sobs. This was not happening. I needed to get to Whole Foods now.

What happened next is kind of a blur. I was hot and shaking uncontrollably. I handed him my license, registration and proof of insurance and then asked him if I could get out of the car since it was turning into an oven. Once I was outside, I started babbling about how this wasn’t really happening and how I needed to get to Whole Foods right now. Would he please follow me there? What if Jo stayed there and I came back for her? Or anything else…ANYTHING??? Didn’t he know this could mean my job???

He tried to get me to calm down while he looked up my license to make sure that it was not suspended or revoked while Jo called Whole Foods to tell them what was happening and to beg the catering manager to stay. He agreed, thank GOD, and the cop let me go with a warning, promise to slow down and a good luck.

By the time we got to Whole Foods, going the speed limit the whole way, I was a wreck. I was still shaking. They guy looked at me sympathetically and we talked about our options, how many people we needed to feed and he got started, assuring me it would not take long.

We were at Whole Foods for 2 hours. I realized that my company credit card would not even begin to cover the cost of the food, so I would have to put it on my card. Fine. I would get reimbursed. I fielded call from ½ the company while I was there. I ran next door and got plates and then again for more. And more mixes. And we need dessert, no wait we don’t, no we do.

While we were sitting there in Whole Foods, the question came up where’s the band? You have GOT to be kidding me. I emailed this guy the info repeatedly. And he too had been to the house on several occasions. I tried to get into my email there at the store, but I couldn’t get a signal. All my work peeps were at the party. I ended up calling Amy, who has nothing to do with my company, but is computer savvy and had her hack into my email to try to find his number. Other than that I could only hope for the best.

They finished round 1 of food prep 2 hours after I had gotten to the store, but I didn’t care anymore. I paid and headed back to the party to drop off what we had and go back for more. As soon as I pulled up there were many people outside ready to help unload set up.

While I was standing there unloading things, I looked down the street and saw my aunt walking toward me. And the tears started again. Seeing someone I knew created an involuntary release. I went to her and told her what was going on while she gave me a hug. She and Pierre helped me take stuff into the house too and then she took me back to Whole Foods in her car, with AC.

By the time I got back to the party a second time I was feeling a little better. People had eaten and gotten a little to drink and for the most part I think that the guests didn’t really notice. The band had shown up a few minutes before I got back and had started to play. Despite the heat, everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Needless to say my nerves were raw for the rest of the day. I couldn’t stop shaking after all of that adrenaline and stress. I had no appetite for 2 days either. I didn’t get home until after 11:00 and it was all I could do to get into the shower to wash off the salty sweat and fall into bed.

The Worst Day Ever, Part 1

Those who talk to me on a regular basis know that I have been entirely consumed by work and generally stretched to the limit lately. I have spent the past few weeks preparing for 5-day marathon work projects, which I anticipated would be exhausting and intense, I just didn't know how much so.

Here’s the breakdown…

Friday:
We have hired 6 new employees within the past 1-2 months. This is going to mean good things for the account staff once all of them get trained, but first we actually have to TRAIN THEM. There are binders and orientation sessions and all sorts of setting up of accounts and computers. The operations team has been in overdrive for going on a month now. The only way I have been able to maintain some semblance of sanity is to remind myself that I am going to Costa Rica VERY SOON.

So Friday was our Professional Development Day in the San Francisco office. It was nice having a quiet area to work in and I was able to spend some time prepping for the Summit. I arranged the chairs, checked in with the last of the vendors and generally picked up. It was a day of little issue, but I was anxious about the next action-packed days to come.

Saturday:
So Saturday I was determined to sleep in and try to get some R&R. I knew that it would be the last day in a long while I would be able to sleep in. I awoke at 7:00 or so to Nadia’s familiar cackle. This time, however, I was prepared. I popped a couple of earplugs in and forced myself to try to sleep more. It worked too. I didn’t get out of bed until close to 10. By that time I knew Jo would be calling soon so that I could come and pick her up from Fremont BART. I showered and then enjoyed a tasty breakfast that Ericka was ever so kind enough to make.

Then I vegged. And stalled. Eventually everyone in the house took off to go wine tasting for Passport weekend and I forced myself to get started on packing the kitchen. I jammed through most of it until Jo called to tell me she was on her way.

Coming home from BART, Jo entertained me with stories about her many MAC purchases the day before. We laughed at the ghetto people at the Fremont BART, but quiet enough not to disturb the locals or attract attention. We plotted our activities for the evening and decided on what the best food would be. We ignored the heat and the fact that I have no working AC. And I got to hear about the magnificent Todd, whom I would meet later that night.

Back in SC we stopped at Safeway for beverages, got ourselves some Upper Crust spaghetti and then headed back to my place to preen and debate our many wardrobe choices. We took off fashionably late and got to Todd’s place in LG with only minor breaking and entering offenses (they let us in, I swear!).

Once we made it inside the right apartment, Todd impressed us with his spacious and snazzy digs. The rest of the folks were already there so we concentrated on introducing ourselves and tried to make small talk that didn’t involved Jo’s life story. The evening continued on, eventually leading us to Carry Nations where we closed the place down and then back to Todd’s which closed me down. We hauled our tired butts home around 3:00am and I tried not to doze off on the drive.

I believe I have been somewhat of a blog neglecter. Up until fairly recently I basically felt like I was writing to myself. But, dear internet, that's not true now is it.

Things have been crazy and I feel like I have barely had time to sleep. And it's hot outside. Real hot. And my wussy ass is not built for hot.

I'm pretty much just holding my breath until after next Tuesday. I think I may collapse in a little heap after that...just in time to move all of my heavy furniture and figure out what the heck I am going to do with the stuff that I don't want. Until then, assume that I am living in a hole or attempting to sleep. Thank goodness for my new friend Rockstar.

Rockstar: The miracle cure for less than 5 hours of sleep.*

*read: stalling the inevitable crash

- My eyes hate me today. They keep leaking, and not in a crying way. Ouchie. On a related note, My sunglasses broke for no reason on Sunday and I was forced to buy new ones. And the I promptly forgot them at home which may be why my eyes became pissed off in the first place.
- I broke my camera's charger plug and it is freaking expensive to buy another one.
- All natural cola tastes like ass*
- I need to do laundry and I don't want to
- I also need to get an oil change. I have needed an oil change for the past 10 months, I swear.
- I do not like packing and have lost all motivation
- I do like fireworks
- I'm beginning to like the blonde streak in my hair
- The fact that my shoes are a complete clash with my outfit is only slightly giving me palpitations
- I can't believe it is already July. I'm going to be 25 very soon. I feel old.

Is my mind all over or what. Hah!
*or what I imagine ass tastes like

I'm suffering from this irrational feeling that I am being suffocated right now. I feel like there is way too much to do in not enough time. All it makes me want to do is shut down and retreat. I know this isn't an option, so instead I feel like I'm going to snap at someone or burst out into tears at any time. I know that's not good.

There's so much going on at work and I'm still trying to get my shit together to move. It's like time is running out. I know that's not exactly the case, but still. I took that day off last week and I have had time this week too, but somehow it isn't enough.

We finally booked our trip to Costa Rica. I'm psyched about that and all the reviews I have read make it sound like the place is a huge escape. I think that's what I need. In the mean time I just need to focus on not flipping out and getting through all of the stuff that I need to. I wish I had a better tolerance for this stuff, but I guess I don't.

Freedom, ain't it great

I think the people of America need to unite in the name of freedom and independence and demand a 4-day work week. Yes, a 3-day work week would be preferable, but baby steps my friends.

It's July 3 and I'm at work. Now I know that there are lots of people working today, but that is entirely beside the point. I don't want to work today. I don't want to work most days, but especially not today. Yes I have tomorrow off. Yes it is paid. Yes I am a whiner. I don't care. I like my bed and I think I need to spend more time in it. Plus there's the matter of all the not-packing I did yesterday. Janet was ever so kind enough to drag her sorry butt to SC to help me and we couldn't force ourselves to do anything. I even bought boxes. From OFFICEMAX. I went in there people. That is a sacrifice. I think that should be considered effort enough for the day.

We rewarded ourselves with a trip to see "The Devil Wears Prada," which is NOTHING like the book, btw (I had already "given myself" a new hair cut/color and mani/pedis, yes it is tough being me).

But back on point, I think any time there is a national holiday like there is tomorrow, the government should demand that all low to mid-level employees be given extra days off to do as they please. Europe has the right idea. Yes they are crazy about the world cup, but we have football fans who paint their exposed bellies in below zero temps. Enough said.